Those who do not remember the past are doomed to repeat it.

Those who live in the past will never live in the future.

Living a complete and fulfilling life requires balance. We cannot spend our lives being ruled by the past. And we cannot live our lives wishing for the future. We must look forward to the future with an eye to the past. Let the past help guide us in the present so that we may build a better tomorrow. This does not mean letting the past rule the present and therefore the future. But letting the past provide an insight to possible challenges to come and being proactive in overcoming them.

A suicide bomber is an example of one who chooses to live in the past. Focusing on injuries, real or perceived, from even centuries ago, this person will strap explosives on their person or in their vehicle and blow it up in the midst of other innocent people. This person has no future. This person never had a future. And worse, they took the future of others with them. Possibly even someone who could have stopped more suicide bombers in the future.

An addict can be an example of one who lives in the future. Tomorrow, I will stop drinking. Tomorrow, I will stop using. I can have one today because I will stop tomorrow. They base their actions today on how they wish things to be in the future. There is no real planning for the future. Just some wish that it would happen. Or a belief that, by some miracle, tomorrow will bring relief from the addiction that rules their life.

Neither of these people are truly living. They exist in the past or the future and cannot see what is right in front of them. The moment that is now. At this moment, they have the opportunity to chose any direction they want. They can chose to live in the moment. Enjoy it. You are here right here, right now. Why not just chose to be happy? What can you control RIGHT NOW? What have you given control to? Why let people and event make you unhappy? Why do you give them that power? YOU are the one who chooses what you do and how you feel.

I am reminded of the time I first moved to Oregon. Two of my wife's friends came while she was out. They came with the preconception that I was not right for their friend and made up their minds that I was behaving badly toward them. My stepdaughter tried to introduce me to them, but they recoiled and convinced themselves that I was being some sort of jerk. Here, I was worried about "measuring up" and was nervous to meet them and thought I probably tried too hard. Little did I know they were looking for any flaw, real or perceived, to explode into a major reason to not like me.

Well, time has revealed the truth, and I consider both of these people as friends and believe they feel the same of me. We could all have chosen to live the past and never gotten to know each other. That would have been a sad loss for me! I find both of them insightful and caring and am very happy to say I know them.

And I have my alcoholism. A year ago, I was someone else. Anyone knowing me then and assuming things are the same today do themselves, and myself, a disservice. I know that this is the case at my workplace. They cannot see how I am now because they continue to see me as pre-accident Darryl. Which is sad. It is not fair to me or the company. It is their choice. By giving me a chance and looking at me TODAY, we could have made a better future. But as they have chosen to close their minds and live in the past, I have no future with them, and they lose one of the hardest workers they have. We both lose. At least I can move on. Move forward. I know how. Hopefully, someday they will, too.

You have the power to control how you feel and what you do. Why not chose to be happy and do something positive? Get a degree. Get job. Get a better job. Don't let the past tell you you can't. And don't let the uncertainty of the future scare you away. Make up your mind to do it and get started. Knowing you are doing something - anything - no matter how small, will make you much happier and confident in your future. And today.